I dunno. For the past months since this year started have not been that great for me at all. And the more I think about it, the more I get stressed out.
I got a job finally back in December, but I work in a Nursing Home, but that being the only job I can get right now I have to deal with it. I have already watched someone die right in front of me and that really took a toll on my well-being.
December also started the time where it was about the last time I talked to my signigant other competlely. Being so busy and having a job and everything on thier side has left me alone without them. I understand the situtaion, but I worry everyday about them and I can not stop thinking about everything that goes rushing through my head. I just wanna be held and told I love you or get a simple call for 5 mintues, "Hey I was thinking of you. I love you." I know that can not happen right now, but I can still wish and dream right? At least it is reality in my mind.
I have been sick for almost a year now and not a lot has gotten better or something gets better and then all the sudden something else happens in its place and it gets to the point I hate the doctors for brushing it off saying everything is fine or nothing is wrong with me. HELLO! I have been in this body for 20 years I think I would fucking know if something was not right -_-; So I just think everyday what is gonna happen and with no support from my mom when I say something is wrong, I just get upset and curl up into a ball in my room. My poor best friend deals with me everyday and she has her own worries, with her father having cancer and everything else. I hate that she worries about me. I really do. Her family is better her to worry about then me. I hate when people worry about me. But, it is not like I would stop them from worrying about me.
Well, I noticed lately my friends try to pin me against one another or use me for thier own choosing. And no this is not towards the ones I was trying ot help in a situtaion they have been in since Januray-Febuaray. I am talking about the ones that are trying to make me pick between friends or take me and treat me all great and then turn around and stab me in the back. Whatever the hell I ever did to them they can tell me, becasue I do not think I deserved anything they want to do to me.
Then I think that my online friends are distancing from me. I hate the drama on NF so I stopped going. When I returned I got in contact with some of my old friends and was really happy, but a lot of them did not even seem to take notice to me and it just was upsetting. It is like I miss the times I had my FC and then the other FCs I ventured. I mean I have my Twiny-chanz and then there was the AkeJenEri trio, but now that we all seem to not have much time for NF I never really get to talk to them anymore. It is not thier fault, but I love the three of them very much and I miss talking to them like a lot. They did not ignore me like some other people did and I think they would know who they are. Erika, Jenna, and Sarah are some of the best peopel I ever met online and I totally love them dearly and I always will. E-sissy-chan is another person that I totally love as well <3 And of course my Ouran RP group, my RP Buddies, gawd you all know I love you all XD And Cali I loveles you lots!
And I am not getting started on my family situtaion, but it is not any better....
But, yeah sorry I needed to get out some of my feelings. I love you all and thanks for listening :3
Now here are some good things xD
You all know I am a HUGE rp addict I rp everyday on Gaiaonline. I do anime/manga rps mainly and mostly Ouran, but I am in several other ones as well. If want some to rp with, give me a note here and I will tell you username :3
I have been making AMVs and such with new animes I have on my computer, I take requests, if I do not have the anime I will make a slideshow :3
I want to start drawing and writing again. As soon as I can :3
Since I have a job I have been getting a lot of stuff and that includes anime/manga and video games. I have all the Ace Attoreny games now. And Pokemon Platium. Then I have so much anime from Ouran, to Moon Phase, to Strawberry Panic, to oh gawd so much XD And I have a DSi, I love it to bits, it is the teal one <3 I have takne over a 100 pics with it already, I love taking them of me nad other people and then editing them, it is so freaking fun xD Plus, the voice recorder is awesome too xD Cali recorded "I love you Kyouuuuuya" on it xD And she made sparkels with herself and put Tamaki with my camera XD I love it <3
I has a cell phone, I will text anyone, as long as I have a number =O And calling I will do more once I get a plan right now I have a Trac Phone till I get more time for moeny -_-;
Oh you know my new obession is Ouran High School Host Club if you have not figured that out yet XD Has been since December, but I was addicted in October. And I am into a lot of anime and parings and characters and gawd, lsitening it all is hard XD I will do that antoher time XD
I can not think of anything else, so ummm I love you all. That is towards all of you
Thanks for listening!