I dunno. For the past months since this year started have not been that great for me at all. And the more I think about it, the more I get stressed out.

I got a job finally back in December, but I work in a Nursing Home, but that being the only job I can get right now I have to deal with it. I have already watched someone die right in front of me and that really took a toll on my well-being.

December also started the time where it was about the last time I talked to my signigant other competlely. Being so busy and having a job and everything on thier side has left me alone without them. I understand the situtaion, but I worry everyday about them and I can not stop thinking about everything that goes rushing through my head. I just wanna be held and told I love you or get a simple call for 5 mintues, "Hey I was thinking of you. I love you." I know that can not happen right now, but I can still wish and dream right? At least it is reality in my mind.

I have been sick for almost a year now and not a lot has gotten better or something gets better and then all the sudden something else happens in its place and it gets to the point I hate the doctors for brushing it off saying everything is fine or nothing is wrong with me. HELLO! I have been in this body for 20 years I think I would fucking know if something was not right -_-; So I just think everyday what is gonna happen and with no support from my mom when I say something is wrong, I just get upset and curl up into a ball in my room. My poor best friend deals with me everyday and she has her own worries, with her father having cancer and everything else. I hate that she worries about me. I really do. Her family is better her to worry about then me. I hate when people worry about me. But, it is not like I would stop them from worrying about me.

Well, I noticed lately my friends try to pin me against one another or use me for thier own choosing. And no this is not towards the ones I was trying ot help in a situtaion they have been in since Januray-Febuaray. I am talking about the ones that are trying to make me pick between friends or take me and treat me all great and then turn around and stab me in the back. Whatever the hell I ever did to them they can tell me, becasue I do not think I deserved anything they want to do to me.

Then I think that my online friends are distancing from me. I hate the drama on NF so I stopped going. When I returned I got in contact with some of my old friends and was really happy, but a lot of them did not even seem to take notice to me and it just was upsetting. It is like I miss the times I had my FC and then the other FCs I ventured. I mean I have my Twiny-chanz and then there was the AkeJenEri trio, but now that we all seem to not have much time for NF I never really get to talk to them anymore. It is not thier fault, but I love the three of them very much and I miss talking to them like a lot. They did not ignore me like some other people did and I think they would know who they are. Erika, Jenna, and Sarah are some of the best peopel I ever met online and I totally love them dearly and I always will. E-sissy-chan is another person that I totally love as well <3 And of course my Ouran RP group, my RP Buddies, gawd you all know I love you all XD And Cali I loveles you lots!

And I am not getting started on my family situtaion, but it is not any better....

But, yeah sorry I needed to get out some of my feelings. I love you all and thanks for listening :3

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Now here are some good things xD

You all know I am a HUGE rp addict I rp everyday on Gaiaonline. I do anime/manga rps mainly and mostly Ouran, but I am in several other ones as well. If want some to rp with, give me a note here and I will tell you username :3

I have been making AMVs and such with new animes I have on my computer, I take requests, if I do not have the anime I will make a slideshow :3

I want to start drawing and writing again. As soon as I can :3

Since I have a job I have been getting a lot of stuff and that includes anime/manga and video games. I have all the Ace Attoreny games now. And Pokemon Platium. Then I have so much anime from Ouran, to Moon Phase, to Strawberry Panic, to oh gawd so much XD And I have a DSi, I love it to bits, it is the teal one <3 I have takne over a 100 pics with it already, I love taking them of me nad other people and then editing them, it is so freaking fun xD Plus, the voice recorder is awesome too xD Cali recorded "I love you Kyouuuuuya" on it xD And she made sparkels with herself and put Tamaki with my camera XD I love it <3

I has a cell phone, I will text anyone, as long as I have a number =O And calling I will do more once I get a plan right now I have a Trac Phone till I get more time for moeny -_-;

Oh you know my new obession is Ouran High School Host Club if you have not figured that out yet XD Has been since December, but I was addicted in October. And I am into a lot of anime and parings and characters and gawd, lsitening it all is hard XD I will do that antoher time XD

I can not think of anything else, so ummm I love you all. That is towards all of you Thanks for listening!

Love,
Akemi

Alright, so Gave me a lot of icons I could use that are Death Note realted and it made me so happy, that I am testing them out on here xD

So time for ze test X3

I EDITED IT XDDDDD I am such a dobe sometimes XD

I was tagged by

This tag is your top 10 fave pairings XD Hmmmmm....They are not in any order really, because I can not put them in order like that, though LeeSaku, MatsuMisa, and MelloMatt are my all-time fave pairings ever XD

1. LeeXSakura(Naruto)
2. MatsudaXMisa(Death Note)
3. MelloXMatt(Death Note)
4. SuginoXMuu-chan(Tactics)
5. HarukaXKanataro(Tactics)
5. KibaXHinata(Naruto)
6. ArouXKanade(Land of the Blindfolded)
7. KyouXTohru(Fruits Basket)
8. HatsuharuXRin(Fruits Basket)
9. KousukeXRyuko(Sprial)
10. DaisukeXRiku(DNAngel)

11. IshidaXOrihime(Bleach)(The only things in Bleach I really care about are Hanatarou and IshiHime XD I like other characters and pariings, but I am not truly a real fan of Bleach XD I mean I watch it, but I am not hard even semi-intereted. I just fell for Hanatarou and IshiHime XD Just thought to mention it, I am not going to mention why I like IshiHime, but I just wanted to mention it XD)

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1. LeeXSakura~
Well, I have always been a fan of Love at 1st site, I guy wanted the girl of his dreams, being true to the one you love, and keeping the promises that you make to them. As well as the girl showing her feelinfs back without acutally saying them. Well, if you look at all that then you get why I love LeeSaku. Lee vowed to protect with his life, he did the best he could, Sakura appreicated him for that gave him that flower, and it can just be shown that she sees the great guy he is looking past his looks. If any pairing in Naruto could be canon I would love it to be LeeSaku

2. MatsudaXMisa~
Yes, I know it sounds really werid. Most people are all LightXMisa, LXMisa, and MatsudaXOlder Sayu XD And the fact I like LMisa and MatsuSayu(Older) I like MatsuMisa, but it is just because, of Matsudas like fanboyness of her XD He makes me laugh at how he acts around her and everything, it was pretty hillroius. I see MatsuMisa as more something hillroius then anything else really XD Kinda like a crack pairing, but not XP

3. MelloXMatt~
Alright, I have had the whole MelloMatt/MattMello. I see Mello as the seme XD That is just how I am, but hey it could go either way depending on the moods of Mello and/or Matt. Anyways, I see a lot of chemsirty between the two of them. It is hard to list my reasons, because I always suck at mentioning why I like a shonen-ai pairing, but I just really love MelloMatt. Though Mello feeling repsonsible and sorry for Matts death, that really touched me. Sorry for the really horrible explantion there DX

4. SuginoXMuu-chan~
Well, they are married XD And Sugino cares a lot about his Muu-chan and it is obvouis that Muu-chan loves him XD They is not much else I can say about them XD

5. HarukaXKantaro~
Well, this is as obvious as SasuNaru in Naruto is XD They obvouisally care about eachother. Kantaro deeply cares for Haruka, he once said he was the speical person he wanted to protect and take care of and Haruka in the end stayed with them. I serously see it as borderline canon XD

EDIT!
For some reason I have two 5s and just realized that XD So I guess I will mention KibaHina, because I skipped it XD

5 1/2. KibaXHinata~
(LOL) Well, they are just good for eachother making up what the other lacks and I swear Kiba has a crush on her somewhat. And she is kind to him and it is just really sweet :3

6. ArouXKanade~
They are canon as in dating one another, and I love the love they have for another, they each have a power that complatments the other. Kanade being able to see into the future by touching someone and Arou being able to see into someones past by touching someone. It is just really awesome. Plus, they are a great looking couple

7. KyouXTohru~
Well, this pairing has a lot to it, but I do not want to manga spoiler anything XD They have a lot that they can completment for eachother. One thing that one lacks is made up in the other, it makes them a really great couple.

8. HatsuharuXRin~
I recently got into this pairing, I just took in the factors of thier realtionship and I was like O_O I love HatsuRin! I really can not give a better explation, but I shall once I get more into the pairing XD

9. KousukeXRyuko~
Well~ I fell for this pairing when I was watching the anime and saw Ryoko come and help save Kousukes life. But, I really see a lot between around eachother a lot and I just really fell hard for this one.

10. DaisukeXRiku~
Riku loved Daisuke and then later one Daisuke realized he loved her as well, they are so cute together and I think that are prefect together I have not finished DNAngel, but what I am understanding I guess they kiss XD

Well! There I go. Oh and I never tag anyone, but Cali if you never noticed. Zoop-chan tagged you with this a long time ago XD

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Clubs:

Took from

1.) Make 100 pics, each pic having a theme listed below. Each pic should have ONE and only ONE theme to it, for it to count. (I am doing fics as well XD, not drawings )

2.) No time limit so have fun.

3.) The main picture should be drawn but not limited to. For all fair purposes, people are allowed to use their paint programs and photo shop to create the pic.
3a.) Pics should be of own artistic ability. You may not edit photos, or break any other rules set out in the dA etiquette policy. Your pics can be anything from sketches and doodles to great master pieces. Just have fun with it.

4.) The list below is to be placed somewhere in your journal for others to see that you are in the challenge and which you have completed.

5.) Make sure to update this list and check off what is done and make a link to the pic.

6.) In the comments for your art work note if it is part of the list and what ONE theme it is.

THE LIST:
1. Introduction
2. Love
3. Light
4. Dark
5. Seeking Solace
6. Break Away
7. Heaven
8. Innocence
9. Drive
10. Breathe Again
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence
16. Questioning
17. Blood
18. Rainbow
19. Gray
20. Fortitude
21. Vacation
22. Mother Nature
23. Cat
24. No Time
25. Trouble Lurking
26. Tears
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. Happiness
30. Under the Rain
31. Flowers
32. Night
33. Expectations
34. Stars
35. Hold My Hand
36. Precious Treasure
37. Eyes
38. Abandoned
39. Dreams
40. Rated
41. Teamwork
42. Standing Still
43. Dying
44. Two Roads
45. Illusion
46. Family
47. Creation
48. Childhood
49. Stripes
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Deep in Thought
53. Keeping a Secret
54. Tower
55. Waiting
56. Danger Ahead
57. Sacrifice
58. Kick in the Head
59. No Way Out
60. Rejection
61. Fairy Tale
62. Magic
63. Do Not Disturb
64. Multitasking
65. Horror
66. Traps
67. Playing the Melody
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. 67%
71. Obsession
72. Mischief Managed
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me?
75. Mirror
76. Broken Pieces
77. Test
78. Drink
79. Starvation
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. Can You Hear Me?
83. Heal
84. Out Cold
85. Spiral
86. Seeing Red
87. Food
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drowning
92. All That I Have
93. Give Up
94. Last Hope
95. Advertisement
96. In the Storm
97. Safety First
98. Puzzle
99. Solitude
100. Relaxation

To my comment peoples, I will reply to your comments soon, I gotta do a few things, I keep for getting to put this up, but I will reply to you soon, I was gone all weekend that is why I have not replied D:

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Clubs:

Tagged by <----- The person I have had like the longest convos on DA with XD

1. Post these rules.
2. Each tagged person must post 8 things about their self on their journal.
3. At the end, you have to choose and tag 8 people and post their icons on the same journal.
4. Go to their pages and send a message saying you tagged them.
5. No tag-backs.

1.) I am often told that I am just like Rock Lee, I got like over 30 people telling me aready XD
2.) My best friend is , My e-sissy-chan is , A super awesome friend is: , My sensei is , and my sigfingant other is
3.) I want to be a Graphics Designer :3
4.) I am totally obessed to the core of obession of Rock Lee I also, love LeeSaku and Team Gai a lot as well
5.) Other pairings I really like in Naruto are: KibaHina, TemaShika, ChoIno, SasuNaru, NejiTen, GaiTsuna/GaiShi, LeeNaru, and GaiKaka
6.) Other characters I love are: Lee, Sakura, TenTen, Gai, Neji, Sai, Shikamaru, Kiba, and Deidara mainly
7.) Other animes/manags that are peaking my interest at the moment are: Tactics, Land of the Blindfolded, and Death Note
8.) I like to draw fanart and write fanfiction, as well as I am totally obessed with rping ^^

I tag...

No one XD I do not like tagging people XD

2nd tag XD

Tagged by

1 . YOUR REAL NAME: Akemi

2 . YOUR GANGSTA NAME: Akeizzle (LOL XD)

3 . YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: Blue Dog (Wow XD)

4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: Tsuak (Total lol XD)

5. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: Green Cherry Vanilla Coke (Whoa Oo)

6. YOUR IRAQI NAME: Kskamiami (That was werid )

7.YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: ReaJay (LOL XD)

8. YOUR GOTH NAME: Black Emma (Me likie )

I tag no one yet again XD




One of my journal enteries soon is going to have all my friends on it that I know from DA, so look forward to that