Warning Very Upset(With a little bit of Happy XD)I got a job finally back in December, but I work in a Nursing Home, but that being the only job I can get right now I have to deal with it. I have already watched someone die right in front of me and that really took a toll on my well-being.
December also started the time where it was about the last time I talked to my signigant other competlely. Being so busy and having a job and everything on thier side has left me alone without them. I understand the situtaion, but I worry everyday about them and I can not stop thinking about everything that goes rushing through my head. I just wanna be held and told I love you or get a simple call for 5 mintues, "Hey I was thinking of you. I love you." I know that can not happen right now, but I can still wish and dream right? At least it is reality in my mind.
I have been sick for almost a year now and not a lot has gotten better or something gets better and then all the sudden something else happens in its place and it gets to the point I hate the doctors for brushing it off saying everything is fine or nothing is wrong with me. HELLO! I have been in this body for 20 years I think I would fucking know if something was not right -_-; So I just think everyday what is gonna happen and with no support from my mom when I say something is wrong, I just get upset and curl up into a ball in my room. My poor best friend deals with me everyday and she has her own worries, with her father having cancer and everything else. I hate that she worries about me. I really do. Her family is better her to worry about then me. I hate when people worry about me. But, it is not like I would stop them from worrying about me.
Well, I noticed lately my friends try to pin me against one another or use me for thier own choosing. And no this is not towards the ones I was trying ot help in a situtaion they have been in since Januray-Febuaray. I am talking about the ones that are trying to make me pick between friends or take me and treat me all great and then turn around and stab me in the back. Whatever the hell I ever did to them they can tell me, becasue I do not think I deserved anything they want to do to me.
Then I think that my online friends are distancing from me. I hate the drama on NF so I stopped going. When I returned I got in contact with some of my old friends and was really happy, but a lot of them did not even seem to take notice to me and it just was upsetting. It is like I miss the times I had my FC and then the other FCs I ventured. I mean I have my Twiny-chanz and then there was the AkeJenEri trio, but now that we all seem to not have much time for NF I never really get to talk to them anymore. It is not thier fault, but I love the three of them very much and I miss talking to them like a lot. They did not ignore me like some other people did and I think they would know who they are. Erika, Jenna, and Sarah are some of the best peopel I ever met online and I totally love them dearly and I always will. E-sissy-chan is another person that I totally love as well <3 And of course my Ouran RP group, my RP Buddies, gawd you all know I love you all XD And Cali I loveles you lots!
And I am not getting started on my family situtaion, but it is not any better....
But, yeah sorry I needed to get out some of my feelings. I love you all and thanks for listening :3
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Now here are some good things xD
You all know I am a HUGE rp addict I rp everyday on Gaiaonline. I do anime/manga rps mainly and mostly Ouran, but I am in several other ones as well. If want some to rp with, give me a note here and I will tell you username :3
I have been making AMVs and such with new animes I have on my computer, I take requests, if I do not have the anime I will make a slideshow :3
I want to start drawing and writing again. As soon as I can :3
Since I have a job I have been getting a lot of stuff and that includes anime/manga and video games. I have all the Ace Attoreny games now. And Pokemon Platium. Then I have so much anime from Ouran, to Moon Phase, to Strawberry Panic, to oh gawd so much XD And I have a DSi, I love it to bits, it is the teal one <3 I have takne over a 100 pics with it already, I love taking them of me nad other people and then editing them, it is so freaking fun xD Plus, the voice recorder is awesome too xD Cali recorded "I love you Kyouuuuuya" on it xD And she made sparkels with herself and put Tamaki with my camera XD I love it <3
I has a cell phone, I will text anyone, as long as I have a number =O And calling I will do more once I get a plan right now I have a Trac Phone till I get more time for moeny -_-;
Oh you know my new obession is Ouran High School Host Club if you have not figured that out yet XD Has been since December, but I was addicted in October. And I am into a lot of anime and parings and characters and gawd, lsitening it all is hard XD I will do that antoher time XD
I can not think of anything else, so ummm I love you all. That is towards all of you
Thanks for listening!Love,
Akemi
Suffering
Devious Comments
Yeah, I actually avoid AIM and MSN bc my keyboard is broken (but tonight its not coming up) and its annoying having to type slowso every space and letter is typed. X__X
Honestly, Eri and I where saying the other day how NF is dead to us. The L FC has been over run by people I don't even know. I don't like it there anymore. I miss those nights the four of us we say up all night posting, too. It seems so distant. But it was last Nov. But the FC isn't the same. I still love you to daeth, Ake, and don't forget it. But yeah, its not like I don't have time, I just don't like NF anymore. But I owe it alot. You and Eri are my best online friends ever<333
I hope everything gets better for you at home as well. ;__;
I actually have big news as far as my rl goes. I can get enough credits to graduate next year! That means a year from now... I'll be out of school. It's crazy...
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♂ + ♂ = ♥ // ♂ + ♀ = ♥ // ♀ + ♀ = ♥
I do miss talking to you. o^o It's been forever...I need to add you on my new Gaia account don't I? Dx -forgot that she's on a totally different account now-
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BxMisa o.o I dare say....That has to be my most favorite heterosexual pairing in Death Note....even if its crack ;D
That sucks. I am sorry to hear that, I stay on messgar, but Meebo has been being very mean lately, logging me out and freezing all the damn time ><
Basically NF is the same to me. I only go to my FC basically anymore and Creators, because I like to tease flirt with him xD An I own his FC, so I have to keep watch of it. But, really I just it is not the same, I mean it died out so long ago. I do miss it, but it is just a site I do not ventur much anymore. I prefer to stick to Gaia. And Youtube and DA now. I love you to death to Sarah, more then you know <3 You will always be my twiny-chans and one of the best online friends I have ever met. I still do plan to meet you someday do not forget that! <3
Thank you Sarah. That means a lot <3
Well, I am gald to hear that, I really am glad to hear that. I wish you the best in this next year <3 I love you a lot Sarah(As twins of course. Though maybe add a little twincest...LOL I am joking XD) I hope that you get through school and do what you want. I wish the best for you no matter what happens. Your happiness is important <3
YAY! We can talks on DA =O I think I am gonna come here more now XD
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TamaHaru♥Kyoumaki♥KaoHaru♥Hikaoru♥KyouHika♥TamaKao♥
Ouran: Tamaki, Kyouya, Kaoru, Hikaru, Haruhi, Mori, Arai, Kasanoda =
I am teh fave machine! Beware!
Eri made my avatar
I know! I am like so really missing you and like your awesomeness of getting me to love A xD I mean I protray A diffrent then you, but I know it was you that got me into him and who brought Linda to my attention, whom is tied as my fave female.
But, more importantally I miss talkign to you, like our long ass messages to eachother on the OOC board of that rp that me and Cali made that long ago xD That died sadly D8
Reminds me, I got into Higurashi, like acutally now xD I can not beileve that like bout a year or so ago I was scared to death of that anime and now I like it. The only thing that bothers me is watching the injections, but I laugh at the gore ">> xD And by far Keiichi is my favorite XD
So how have you been? O: And yeah you do not need to add me on your new Gaia. I have another Gaia now too, but it is my rping Tamaki mule xD I still use my main mostly :3 I just have been on my Tamaki account a lot becasue my friend made her Haruhi account and she is my Haruhi xD But, yeah just send one to my main, you know who I am ;D O:
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TamaHaru♥Kyoumaki♥KaoHaru♥Hikaoru♥KyouHika♥TamaKao♥
Ouran: Tamaki, Kyouya, Kaoru, Hikaru, Haruhi, Mori, Arai, Kasanoda =
I am teh fave machine! Beware!
Eri made my avatar
I'm so sad to hear about what's currently happening in your life. I REALLY hope everything gets better. And I'm sure they will eventually.
You're a wonderful person, never forget that. Sarah and I will always love you.
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can't spell Light without L.
Moderating: ~L-FanClub
Well thank you Erika that means a lot right now <3 I freaking am sick of crap x_X
Well thank you. As are you <3 And I will always love you and Sarah too. Sarah, gawd...out fo the 2 years I have known her, her and I really had a lot that we have done together and are such good friends. And I have only known you for a shorter time, but I have grown so attached to our friendship. You are an awsome person and I am alway shere for you when you need me. Love ya Erika.
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TamaHaru♥Kyoumaki♥KaoHaru♥Hikaoru♥KyouHika♥TamaKao♥
Ouran: Tamaki, Kyouya, Kaoru, Hikaru, Haruhi, Mori, Arai, Kasanoda =
I am teh fave machine! Beware!
Eri made my avatar
I've been rp'ing A with Sas lately. :3 I seem to inspire a lot of people when I would rp BB and A(I think I was probably one of the first BB rp'er's on gaia along with A(Infact I don't really see any A rp'ers's on Gaia at all. .__.;; ))
I know I tried reviving it but no one replied. ;___; I liked talking there and I loved that rp too~
Sas was just talking about Higurashi last night aswell! XD
Higurashi is probably my second favorite anime. Right after Death Note. Rena and Satoko are my favorite's. Absolutely adorable. <3
Good I guess. xD I've made loads of new friends since Valentines Day(Like lots and even more rp buddies to rp stuff that I haven't rp'd in forever(-cough-smut-cough- >///>;; ))
I'll be sure to add you~ ^^
My new username is A themed by the way(A's become my most favorite character now and you can probably tell by just looking at my youtube and even my DA gallery lol )
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BxMisa o.o I dare say....That has to be my most favorite heterosexual pairing in Death Note....even if its crack ;D
That is really cool
No one posted to me so I had nothing to do T-T
Yeah, she was telling me she was watching it and liking it. It is a pretty awesome anime. Scary as hell at times, but awesome. I dunno who my fave female is @_@ I just say Rena for now, but I dunno. Reminds me I am suppose to be rping KeiichixRena with Cali once I get his character more xD Her fave is Rena and her least fave is Satoko xD I like another person too and I also like Satoshi. I am like...do I even like any of the girls yet? XD
Well that is awesome
YAY! *waits to be added*
That is awesome xD I dunno who my most favorite is, but I have seen your vids and I love them <3
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TamaHaru♥Kyoumaki♥KaoHaru♥Hikaoru♥KyouHika♥TamaKao♥
Ouran: Tamaki, Kyouya, Kaoru, Hikaru, Haruhi, Mori, Arai, Kasanoda =
I am teh fave machine! Beware!
Eri made my avatar
BB and Misa married together? xD Epic lolz
Your rp's sound so interesting. o^o
How do you come up with so many epical idea's for rp's? Dx -flails about-
I wish I was still obsessed with Ouran so I could be apart of your Ouran crowd of friends but I'm not. .___. Though you could probably just zoom over to my old Riku-Heartilly account on gaia and you'll immediately notice that I was an Ouran-tard back then. Oh lolz
I'm on gaia right now...Just kinda side-tracked with Kira Inc (Talking to L right now )
I've made afew A video's now haven't I?
I think my favorite's probably this one -> [link]
Yup and that ones even got L in it. xD
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BxMisa o.o I dare say....That has to be my most favorite heterosexual pairing in Death Note....even if its crack ;D
Working in a nursing home must be really tough, my mum used to work in a nursing home and she used to find it very tiring and emotionally draining too :/
The DSi sounds really fun though :3
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